I really like the word ‘profound,’ as if its suffix is ‘sound.’ And that’s what I think of: a deep bass, a slow vibration, a long echoing call in the darkness
"No one can tell what the painting of tomorrow will be like. Painting can be judged only after it has once been made. What connection does this have with ethics? We are in the same creative situation. We never say that a work of art is arbitrary. When we speak of a canvas of Picasso, we never say that it is arbitrary; we understand quite well that he was making himself what he is at the very time he was painting, that the ensemble of his work is embodied in his life.
What art and ethics have in common is that we have creation and invention in both cases. We can not decide a priori what there is to be done.”
Sartre, Existentialism and Human Emotions
This was the strangest week. And I keep thinking about love, and chaos, darkness, circumstance, suspension.. and this just seems appropriate
(x) The Hanged Man generally shows that you are at a crossroads - one with only two options i.e. in or out, up or down, yes or no. You may find yourself very much wanting to do “something” but having no idea what it is or how to do it. If that happens, that’s a clear sign that you should stop, relax, and look at ways that you might need to let go of attempts to control life/situations/people/things.
(x) What is important to remember is that this is a card about suspension, not life or death. The querent might well feel that one thing has ended, yet the next has not begun, and they are stuck in a kind of waiting room. Things will continue on in a moment, but for now, they float, timeless. ..this card signifies a time when the querent is feeling sensitive, vulnerable, introverted, suspended even as they also experience insight so deep that for a moment, nothing but that insight exists.
(x) The Hanged Man can sometimes reflect that you are feeling stuck or restricted in your life. You need to get in touch with why you are feeling this way, and work to release yourself from these restrictions. In this way, the Hanged Man is also about letting go. You need an emotional release from whatever it is that is leaving you feeling stuck. Accept and surrender to your present circumstances. You may need to become more vulnerable and open to different experiences but this will help you end the struggle and give up your need for control. It is when you can really let go of all the worries and concerns that you have, that you find these concerns suddenly disappear and a new reality is possible.
I’m disturbed that I can’t easily reconstruct faces in my memory
(is the consistent facelessness in my dreams something of my reality as well?)
and of course, to top off the night, the coyotes are howling
I’ve been in the process of letting things go; one, a poisonous outlook that made me feel like I had to move immediately into some sort of project, path, job or career. It’s almost been a half of a year since my graduating college and I’ve known all along that what it has meant was not so much about the diploma; it was the growing I did in those four years there. Still I couldn’t help feeling an invisible yet massive wave of pressure, parts of society that function so facelessly and mechanically. I can’t deny being separate from it, but I still feel like I can’t begin to understand it.
Essentially, though I know the objective answers and how the world generally functions, the question still remains for me: why do we have to work for money; money for freedom? Why is this our reality?
And I’ve been stagnant because I’ve needed this pause, I’m taking this time, I’m claiming it. And during my time - as with most other eras of my life, I’ve shamelessly indulged myself with concerts, art, experiences, the outdoors, exercise, friends. I’ve felt so free, happy, and also terrified. There’s always the looming fear that comes with knowing that this world is brutal and crushing; of knowing that I will be broken, that there’s pain to come. But I’ve been elated, and feeling so much more connected to the ‘important things’ than times before. Recreation is soulful, love is everything. And I’m only beginning to learn how to follow my intuition. I think I can trust that ‘little voice’ that everyone talks about. “Follow your heart” is a cliché statement because it is such a truth.
Usually upon meeting new people, the general question is, “what do you do?”. I think a more appropriate way of asking anyone anything about themselves is “where have you come from” and, “where do you feel like going?” We are not one thing, we are a collective, and also an individual history, and a trajectory. That’s more interesting than any occupation I can imagine.
I’m unemployed and
because at the moment
it’s not part of my truth
I passed through those days, amazed by too much. the sunlight was always a promise. the sunsets always felt like everything becoming heavier. and through all the traveling I left fragments of something back there, in those places and moments.
I feel displaced, but also at home