forgive me for feeling like nothing I could ever begin to create can compare with the immense beauty of the natural world, and the night sky. nothing I could ever do could be as monumentous in meaning. who am I to want to replicate anything from it, to try to emote from it?
I could just lay down facing up and let the corners of my eyes find little invisible ties with the ground, and let my whole self sink inwards. it will be my thing. my eyes are going to get really heavy. you might notice.

and I’ve been thinking more often, “this is it, this is all.”
waking up in the morning to familiar sensations- “this is it, this is all”
driving at night, passing streetlamps moving striped shadows- “this is it, this is all”
some window seat flying into golden clouds- “this is it, this is all”

up ahead and behind and inside,
a sky full of time and time past.
and all of time’s light:
it is it, it is all

-
Wednesday, 17th September

This concept of being able to be at peace without passion-
It’s a consoling way to explain the ‘from the void’ feelings at the back of my mind all the time: feeling directionless, loveless, lazy, empty, mediocre..
But maybe these absences are proof of a greater presence. Things that want to drive me. Rivers of passions that want to erode away weaker states. I was never meant to be a static landscape.

In creation there is no peace,
there is no place for stillness.


[“It hurts to become” -Andrea Gibson]

-
Wednesday, 17th September
still a bit rusty with drawing faces
-Anni from Gute-Zeiten-Schlechte-Zeiten

still a bit rusty with drawing faces

-Anni from Gute-Zeiten-Schlechte-Zeiten

-
Thursday, 11th September
thefightinglife:

A timid finger pokes through the horizon
As it points out to an evaporating sea.
"I know her," he says,
But the ocean blends with the sky,
and only blue remains.

thefightinglife:


A timid finger pokes through the horizon

As it points out to an evaporating sea.

"I know her," he says,

But the ocean blends with the sky,

and only blue remains.

-
Thursday, 11th September

and when it gets silent
she can’t ignore all the little truths collecting like stones undersea.
one: she always pretends she’s in love.
and in synthetic invention she can feel the weight of an ocean full of meaning
when maybe there is none

-
Wednesday, 10th September
Marilee Spencer | Angeleno Artistry

we’re all so lonely with what we want

-
Wednesday, 3rd September

shut up, look:

you’re not alone,

it’s everywhere, you’re just not listening enough.

so pay attention to these microcosmic feelings. collect them, they’ll start speaking. sometimes the smallest things have the greatest voice at the end of the day.

[golden way]

-
Wednesday, 3rd September

I need help, this climate is making me sick.
I’ve been feeling like what I have to offer is received with apathy at best. I’ve been feeling rejected lately in big ways; undervalued.

This society doesn’t value creative work as much as other fields.
I tried some things and failed. I’ve been free, I’ve been lost.
This society tells you to specialize in one thing and make it a career. It’s so one-dimensional. People get so uninteresting. I want to do many things, I want to live with importance, never monotony. I don’t know where to start.
People are cruel. Some don’t want my friendship, they don’t want any part of me at all. I feel neglected more than I realize. I feel like so few value my expression. We make it so that we’re all fighting alone.

I’m not doing nothing. If I got a job I hated, that would be nothing. Money is nothing, money doesn’t show much. Life is in the mind, not in stacks of paper, not in numbers of stale white columns.
I’m collecting experiences. I’m being myself, I’m doing things that are important to me, that bring me joy, even though they haven’t paid me a cent. It’s more than nothing. It’s something.

I have many skills; I’m not going to have a specific career. And for this I feel rejected, pressured, outcast.
I need to know I’ll be ok. I need to know that there’s a way to be independent like this with a joyful life. I want meaning. I want to share whatever I have to give, I want to be able to continue doing things I love. Where do I go?
I was just sitting there, angry and hurt, just chanting in my mind
“I’m not doing nothing.”

-
Sunday, 31st August

keola22:

But always, always, always
it is here with you;
silent, ferocious,
beautiful.

image

-
Saturday, 30th August
Set me like a seal upon thy heart, love is as strong as death.
 Song of Solomon 8:6

(Source: keola22)

-
Saturday, 30th August
We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.
Prufrock, T.S.Eliot
-
Friday, 22nd August

to sit outside in the night, to sit with the soul of pain
and not hassle it; to feel it like the passing of darkness into morning.
to wait, to wait under white sheets, within white walls,
with the hours, the tensed clinging, fighting; tones of words, of gut sounds sharper than truth.
to wait.
to sit with it. sit with it long enough to feel you know it a little. you may feel it again, but maybe
you will be more at ease.
we will have our peace.

-
Thursday, 21st August
A genius is the one most like [themselves].

Thelonious Monk

-
Sunday, 17th August